Emotional Abuse Archives

Will Divorce Ruin My Kids and Their Opportunities in Life? [Episode 187]

September 6, 2022

For women escaping emotionally abusive husbands, divorce often feels like a scarlet “A” on their chest. Or “D.” They wonder if they’ll be marked for life.

And worse, they fear how their kids will suffer the consequences.

First, because they lived in a home of chaos and pain and trauma. Second, because they’ll have to face the assumptions and judgment of other people.

A “broken” family. A single-parent household. “Sinful” parents. Not “true” Christians. Bad influences. The sort of mom and kids other people whisper about.

Is this your fear? Your reality? Then I’ve got great news and lots of it.

Why Being Rejected by Your Church and Family Hurts So Bad [Episode 186]

August 30, 2022

“I don’t think I’ll ever heal from this,” she said. “You expect harm from people who only harm you. From him. Not the ones who know you, who grew up with you, who you went to church with.”

Do you know the pain of rejection by your family, friends, and church? I do. I’ve lost entire nights of sleep swimming in that pain. It’s mind-numbing. Excruciating.

A listener told me that after being rejected by her church and family, she felt like she was standing on an alien ship watching her home planet being blown up. Then she asked the questions you might be wondering too:

How do we survive such great loss? Is there any healing for grief that goes deeper than your bones? Hurts that nearly fracture your body?

Yes, dear one. But the truth is that as painful as the facts are, your hurt is increased 100 fold by the story you’re telling yourself about it. And the meaning you’re giving that story.

From one heart-weary woman to another, here’s the scoop on the most important story of your life..and the secret to changing it.

Because rejection hasn’t ended the good of your story. Not by a long shot.

How to Know If Your Christian Dating Relationship is Toxic [Episode 185]

August 23, 2022

As terrible as being married to an abuser is, there’s something worse.

It’s getting free from your abuser, then getting remarried to another one.

For a lot of survivors, that’s their worst fear.

Can they trust themselves to identify red flags when they were taught to dismiss them for so long? Will they be able to see past the bullcrap if a potential suitor is slick and smooth but a turd of a guy underneath the facade? How can they be sure they’re choosing a safe, truly good person, not a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde?

I know that fear all too well. And I trust myself to choose good people now. (I did; I’m remarried to one.) I’ve also taught hundreds upon hundreds of women how to spot red flags in relationships.

By the time you listen to this episode, you’ll know whether your Christian dating relationship (or any dating relationship) is toxic.

The Wife with Boundaries: Changing the Conversation on Biblical Submission [Episode 184]

August 16, 2022

Is there poison in your home?

No, I don’t mean rat poison or toxic chemicals or asbestos. It’s words. On pages. In a book. One that’s given as a wedding gift. When times are tough. When you’re desperate. When you’ve run out of ideas and options to help your marriage and somebody gives you 336 pages of “hope.”

The poison is the answer ringing from every page of this book. You were, as Debi Pearl puts it, “Created to Be His Help Meet.” And lots of women have gulped it down, me included.

Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Sweet. Simple. Godly.

Because double standards and coercive control and whitewashed tombs are biblical, right?

In this interview with Chelsea Wells, she and I discuss the poisonous messages of Debi Pearl’s book before we toss them in the shredder.

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Three [Episode 183]

August 9, 2022

Life after abuse can feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. You struggle with the same things. The same thoughts. The same downward spirals. Over and over and over.

Flying Free is all about breaking out of harmful cycles, in and after abusive relationships. If you want to see this in action, Amie is a poster child for life beyond abuse: healing, thriving, and constantly growing.

Our discussion was so powerful, her story so incredible, the amazing freedom she’s experienced so inspiring, that we talked for two hours. There was no way I was going to cut a single minute from the recording, so I broke it into three episodes.

This series catalogs her thought transformations, from old to new, across the most important aspects of her life, the parts that were hit the hardest by spiritual and emotional abuse. So if you’re feeling stuck, defeated, or just plain frustrated as heck in your recovery process, this is one of the greatest freebies you’ll come across.

12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse Part Two [Episode 182]

August 2, 2022

“I’ve got to share this with as many people as possible.” That’s what I decided when Amie showed me her thought work from Flying Higher.

What the heck is “thought work”? Well, I’ll answer your question with a question.

How often do you have the same thoughts? You know, the crappy ones. “Nothing will ever change. If I could just get him to see how much he’s hurting me. I have to wait for God to move; I can’t do anything about this. I need someone to come rescue me. I’m trapped. I’ll never heal.”

What if you had new beliefs that led to new emotions and new actions and an ENTIRE NEW LIFE?

I’m not blowing smoke up your tailpipe. The truth is: You could have all your problems solved right now, and you’d still be stuck if your thoughts didn’t change too. And they don’t on their own.

Our beliefs keep us in abuse. It’s only our beliefs that can free us. Thought work is the simple way to break free.

Want some clear evidence? I recorded three episodes’ worth—Amie’s story. It’s incredible, and one of many in the Sisterhood.

Category: Emotional Abuse